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8 - When You Realize She's "The One"... With Someone Else

Hey there,


So, you know how some people are super outgoing, the life of every party? And then there are the introverts, happy with a book and a can of coke? Well, there's this secret third category, the ambiverts. And let me tell you, these guys, we guys (because yes, I'm one of them, spoiler alert!), we have a superpower when it comes to, well, falling in love. And maybe a super-problem too.


Think about it. We like people, we genuinely do. We can have those deep, meaningful conversations like an introvert, really connecting with someone. But we also have that bit of extrovert in us that allows us to put ourselves out there, to actually meet people in the first place. It's like having the best of both worlds, right? Wrong. So, so wrong.


See, our ability to connect on different levels, that's the fuel for the love train. We can bond over shared interests in a quiet corner, or we can laugh our heads off at a crowded gathering. We observe, we listen, and we genuinely care. It's like our emotional radar is always on, picking up signals of awesomeness in people. And when we find it, bam, heart goes into overdrive.


Now, here comes the twist – the inevitable "but." And it's a big one. For some reason, and I swear I wish I understood this myself, the amazing girl who triggers this whole love explosion in my ambivert heart? She almost always has a boyfriend. Like, a steady, seemingly nice guy boyfriend. It's become a pattern, a recurring plotline in the story of my life. You'd think after the whole Simran-Aman story(remember that? Blog 2, for those regular readers), I’d have learned my lesson, right? Wrong again!


It's like my internal love-o-meter is specifically calibrated to detect girls who are already happily committed. Maybe it's the challenge? Maybe it's that they've already proven they're capable of a good relationship? Or maybe, just maybe, I have a terrible sense of timing. Whatever it is, it’s a recurring theme that would make even a Bollywood scriptwriter raise an eyebrow.


I meet this girl. Let’s call her… Priya. She’s smart, funny, gets my quirky sense of humor (which, let's be honest, isn't for everyone). I'm enjoying her company, and yeah, my heart is doing those little somersaults again.


Then, the inevitable happens. Casually mentioned in a conversation, or maybe a photo pops up on social media – the boyfriend. The "Aman" of this particular story. And a part of me deflates, like a punctured balloon at a kid's party.


My friends, the few who actually listen to my dating woes, they roll their eyes. "Dude," they say, "haven't you learned anything?" And honestly? No. No, I haven't. It's like my heart operates on a completely different logic system than my brain. My brain knows the odds, it sees the red flags (or maybe they're just regular flags I'm misinterpreting?), but my heart? My heart just goes, "Ooh, she's great! Let's fall in love!" And then, somewhere down the line, we deal with the whole "she's already with someone" thing.


Maybe it's the ambivert in me again. We see the potential in people, the different facets of their personality. We connect with them on multiple levels, and perhaps, we sometimes see what could be, rather than what is. Or maybe I just have a really specific (and unfortunate) type.


Whatever the reason, here I am, again. Feeling that familiar tug in my chest, that excitement of a new connection, quickly followed by the sinking realization that the object of my affection is already someone else's. It's a classic story, really. The kind where you laugh, you maybe feel a little sorry for me, and you definitely wonder when I'm finally going to figure this whole love thing out.


Spoiler alert: I probably won't. But hey, at least it makes for interesting blog posts, right?


With Love (and a hopeful, yet slightly misguided, heart),

Atreidus

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